Facing Facts

One of my biggest character flaws is that I hate to face facts or reality.  I much prefer to bury my head in the sand and just keep plugging along. 

After multiple weeks of requests from Tom's teacher, I finally scheduled some much needed doctor appointments.  Tom's teacher is quite sure that he has Asperger's Syndrome.  Of course, this is nothing new to us as we've thought that about Joe for years.  It's just hard for me to admit that I may have two children with it. 

So the first step is to get a referral from our general practitioner.  He visited with Joe and Tom for about 20 minutes each, taking care to talk to the child and not to me.  He wrote referrals for the specialist for both boys, which wasn't much of a surprise. 

For Joe, it is difficulties with co-operation, socialisation, oppositional behaviours, and poor impulse control.  The doctor suspects Asperger's Syndrome and/or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.  Joe's teacher has given us a list of problematic behaviours for Joe:

• constant arguing with classmates
• constant arguing with teacher about work to be done
• refusal to do work in class if he doesn't fee like it
• problems with outbursts and crying
• poor ability to make friends
• annoys other classmates to the point that Joe is bullied
• refusal to take responsibility for actions
• often lashes out at other students over very minor issues
• does not understand concept of personal space

For Tom, it is difficulties with aggression, poor impulse control, bullying, and poor social skills.  He also has problems with depressive thoughts.  The doctor suspects Asperger's Syndrome and possible depression.  Tom's teacher has written a letter saying that he has problems in the following areas:

• continual touching, kicking, hitting and generally annoying other students
• often cries or becomes distressed when he does not "get a turn," even if many others have not had a turn
• very rough play, often hurting others
• continued disruption to others in the classroom including regular calling out and noise making
• does not read body language or facial expressions of other children to know that he is annoying them
• other children have noticed that Tom is different and do not want to play with him.  
• often speaks very loudly and forcefully

 We visit the specialist on Wednesday for evaluations.  I am not sure what will come of it, but I have a feeling that we have at least two boys with Asperger's Syndrome.  Of course, I feel like I have let down the boys a bit.  We tried for a bit in the States to get Joe evaluated for it.  His doctor has been saying since age 4 that he probably has it.  The problem was that every time we tried to get him evaluated, we were told to wait until he was older.  Now, everyone is asking why we waited so long!
I met with a local support group for the first time this week.  Through a friend, I'd met a mom that is in a similar situation.  She told me about the group that meets once a month.  Unfortunately, it was on a day when Sam was home so I couldn't stay very long at the group.  Next month I will get a sitter for Sammy.  It was nice just to feel like I am not alone in the world with this issue.   

Playing catch up

I haven't forgotten about blogging.  It just has taken a back burner for a while.  I am pretty much always two steps behind on everything.
So I am here to do some catching up.

Last month, we had our Spring school holidays.  As usual, it rained, but we vacationed anyway.  Jay got back from Korea and 14 hours later, I shoved everyone into the car and drove 6 hours.  We drove south to Callala Beach.  It is located on the southern coast of New South Wales.  It's very beautiful down there and full of tourists.

Booderee National Park

Booderee National Park

Stars over Jervis Bay

Kiama Light House

View from Saddleback Mountain

View from Barren Grounds State Reserve

Fitzroy Falls

Nellie's Glen

Carrington Falls

View from Wallis Chair lookout

We had a few days with less rain, and we were able to get out and see the sights.  We visited Booderee National Park, Fitzroy Falls, and Carrington Falls.  We had a nice relaxing week.

For the second week of school holidays, I took the boys camping with some friends of mine.  We all left the dads at home and had a gals week of camping with the kids, 4 moms and 9 kids in total.  We drove two hours north to Seal Rocks.  Seal Rocks is a laid back beach area, only reached by driving 5 kms on a gravel road.  There is not much in Seal Rocks besides a small general store, beaches, a lighthouse, and the holiday park where we camped.   It was beautiful!

Tom and Josh, brrr it's cold

The oldest kids, walking to the lighthouse

view of Boat Beach

Can you spot the whales?

Tawny Frog Mouth Owl

Sugarloaf Lighthouse

View of beach, from lighthouse

Seal Rocks

Joe

Joe and Tom

Lighthouse, a very steep walk up to the lighthouse!

One of my friends grew up near here and was childhood friends with the last lighthouse keeper's daughter

Youngest and oldest kids on the trip, Sam and Sarah

Tom

All 9 kids on the trip

Silliest faces

Fun with sparklers (Tom on left and Joe on right)

Sam's first sparkler, EVER!

Tom

We had a really enjoyable and relaxing time on both trips, but we were glad to get back to normal.  At least for a little while...

Photography class, week 2

For week 2, we needed to work on using our AV (aperture priority) and TV (shutter priority) settings. 

AV setting allows me to choose how wide the aperture will be on the camera.  The smaller the number mean the wider the aperture. Wider apertures allow more light into the camera and also makes a shorter depth of field.  More narrow apertures allow for an increased depth of field.  A wide aperture gives a nice soft background to a focused object.  Here are my AV photos:

I probably took 100 photos with this setting, but the three best just all happened to be of Lacey.

The TV setting allows me to adjust how long the shutter stays open.  Faster shutter speeds allow the user to capture people and objects in motion without any blur.  Longer shutter speeds allow more light into the photo and are best for low light situations. 

Really Quick Update

I have started my photography class, and I am really enjoying it.  Our paid babysitter, Elle, is probably not enjoying it.  My kids love her to pieces, and she stalled when I asked if she could come back for the 3rd Monday in a row.  She still hasn't given me an answer.  I hope she'll be able to, but I do have some backups.  I am also using a younger babysitter on Saturday to watch the boys.  She'll have her mom there as well, as she is only 13.  I am going to a field trip for my class, and I don't think the other students would enjoy having kids running around while they are trying to photograph.
I have friends who are coming over to scrapbook tonight.  It is so exciting!

Joe is doing really well at school right now.  He's had a few weeks with no problems at all!!  Joe starts a social skills learning group today at school.  I am pretty happy that he was invited to join this term.  Perhaps it will give him some much needed friend-making skills.  Joe really enjoyed participating in the music festival last week and can't wait for next year's festival. 

Tom is still having some ups and downs at school.  On the days that he seems to do better in the classroom, he does worse outside.  We are still waiting on the school counselor to get together with us.  We can't move forward until she gives us all the needed reports and forms.
Tom is out of the sling.  He has x-rays again tomorrow, with his final (hopefully!) specialist appointment on Monday.  He will then have another 6 weeks of reduced activity in order to let the bone continue to heal.

Sam is being a challenge right now.  He is trying to assert his way, which isn't going very well.  This morning, he refused to make his bed.  It is a house rule that it needs to be done.  He went back into his room for a short bit, then came out.  Sam announced that he couldn't make his bed because it was wet.  He'd peed on it last night.  Normally, this isn't a big deal.  I change the sheets and be done.  The problem was I knew that his bed was dry a few minutes earlier.  Sure enough, he'd gone into his room, pulled down his pants, and peed on the bed!!  All just to avoid making the bed!!  Well, he had to strip the sheets and he'll have to help put them on when they finish drying.  He will then have to make the bed after the sheets are on! Goodness! I hope he moves out of this phase soon.

Jay is still in Korea.  We have no idea when he is going to show back up in Australia.  He was supposed to return on the 21st.  That got bumped to the 27th, which got bumped until the 1st or 2nd.  On Monday, Jay said probably wouldn't be until the 3rd or 4th.  A coworker told me last night that I shouldn't hold my breath about him coming home then either. 
So, he will come home when he comes home.  Until then, we are holding down the fort...sorta...kinda...well, we're trying...

Photography Class, week 1

I am taking a class about how to use Digital SLR cameras at the little local community college.  The college doesn't offer many courses that I would be interested in, but I've had my eye on this one for a couple of terms. 
I finally decided just to sign up for it. 
During the first week, our instructor walked us through the different types of settings and photo composition.  For our homework, we had to take lots of pictures on Full Auto.  We then had to choose our favorites and submit them to the instructor.  She would then share them with the class on the next Monday. 
I submitted mine, but somehow, they got missed.  The instructor didn't have them in time for class Monday, even though I'd emailed her on early Sunday with them.  No big deal.  I have no idea if she will share them now that she has found them or if she will just move on to the next group of photos.
Here are the ones I submitted:

It was a week plagued by bad weather and camera memory card problems.  I lost several photos when my card gave up, but I think I still managed to get some that I like. 

Week 2: Aperture Priority and Shutter Priority, along with a field trip to the beach for sunset photos

Quick Update

I just thought I'd post a quick update since I just haven't found the time to sit down and write something much longer. 

Jay is currently working very hard, long hours in Korea.  For months, there has been talk of sending Jay to Korea.  However, they decided to pull two other employees stationed in Australia to send to Korea (rather than sending someone from the U.S.).  Of course, the two guys they sent are specialized in the same field, and it was deemed that they needed not only someone who does Jay's job, but Jay himself.  On a Saturday, an email came through requesting Jay.  A few emails were exchanged, but no real plans were made.  Then, at 10:30 pm Monday night, Jay was told he needed to be in Korea, ready to work, on Thursday.  Flights leave from Sydney at 9 in the morning so he had to drive down to Sydney on Tuesday night in order to leave on Wednesday.  He left our house on the 9th.  He was supposed to come back on the 21st, but has been extended through til the 27th, possibly longer. 

I can't do any dog training while Jay is gone.  Dog training requires me to leave the house at 8:30 on a Sunday morning and not get back home until 1:30.  Both my paid and unpaid babysitters are all heavily involved in church.  So I have no one to watch the kids and I don't think that they'd be real happy to hang with me there. 

I started my Digital SLR photography class on Monday.  I think that it will be a very interesting class.  It is simply amazing the amount of money that has been spent on the cameras in that class, and the people don't know how to use them.  My camera, which wasn't cheap, is on the lower end of the prices.  There were cameras there that cost well over $1500!!  I am really looking forward to the rest of the class.  The teacher is a professional photographer. 
Here are some of her photos: http://www.flickr.com/photos/44408409@N06/

The boys have finished soccer now.  Tom was not able to cheer his team on for the last game as we had to travel to Newcastle for Joe's game. 
Joe won an award from his coach for most injuries and most throw-ins.  Thankfully, a different player won the "best burps" award. 
Joe joined junior choir at school earlier this year.  They have been working very hard to for the last several months in order to be ready for the Music Festival this week.  They have two performances this week, one on Wednesday night and one on Thursday night.  We are going to watch him on Wednesday.  Joe is pretty excited about it all.

Otherwise, we don't have much going on.  We are just doing the normal, day to day stuff that we always do.

Rambling

I am just ramble about our life.

Sam: 
His behavior is off the charts. Bad, with a super capital B.  Holy moley!  He's stealing, hitting, throwing fits, breaking things, rude and grumpy.  Not my typical Sam.  I am hoping that he is growing or something and that this phase will be over quite quickly.  I don't like it and I am not real sure how to handle it. 

Tom: 
He is still hanging out in his sling.  We go to a specialist tomorrow, in order to find out if anything else needs to be done.  It is looking better now than what it did when he broke it two and a half weeks ago.  We did have an x-ray done, but the break looks worse than it did.  I have no idea what's going on, but we'll see what the specialist says. 
Tom's mid-year report was fairly good, with only minor problems in his social interaction.  I was quite pleased with it.  Then we had a sit down talk with his teacher, and she is much much more concerned about his social behavior.  I was quite surprised.  Tom can strike up a conversation and make friends with any kid on the playground.  He allows them to control the play and I have never seen a problem with other kids (not counting his brothers.)  His teacher paints a different story though.  Tom is too silly in class.  He bothers and disrupts the other kids to the point that they avoid him.  Many of Tom's behaviors are way over the top.  She has requested that the counselor come evaulate him.  Yea...

Joe:
Joe is doing quite a lot better at school lately.  We have set up a system with his teacher.  His teacher writes in a behavior book, 3 times a day, 5 days a week.  The days is split up into morning, mid-day and afternoon.  Joe's teacher writes about Joe's behavior for each session.  If Joe gets good notes every session for three days in a row, he earns a new chapter book.  This system works well and seems to be motivating him a lot.  Joe's mid-year report was pretty much what we expected.  Joe does great work, when he wants to do the work.   Joe listens to the teacher, if he feels like listening.  Joe is good at writing, if he's in the right mood.  His teacher is really happy with the progress that he has made, but his social skills are still at the bottom.  His teacher has worked quite a bit to stop a lot of the bullying, but it still happens.  Of course, part of the problem is that Joe reacts and gets really upset about minor things.  At soccer, all the boys were joking and joshing around and there was some name calling going on.  I don't know what names were being called, but Joe was getting and giving.  Then, a boy called him something that upset him (he won't say what) and pretty soon, he stalked off and was bawling.  This doesn't help at all.  Then the boys start calling him baby.  It's hard to watch your child go through that, and I try to give him strategies to cope.  It doesn't always work though. 

Weather
It rained hard for 6 days.  We were soaked, the ground was saturated, and we all missed the sun.  Now, a week later, it feels like late spring, though we have a whole month of winter left.  I think the hardest thing about moving back to the States will be the weather.  How can we go from a winter with days on the beach to a cold, gray, slushy mess? 
With nice sunny days comes bright clear nights.

Part of being out where we are is that we don't have a lot of light pollution.  It's awesome!  I love being able to see the Milky Way.

Me
Lacey and I have finished the first two stages of dog obedience training.  This Sunday starts stage three.  We will have to test out of stage three before moving on.  It will be more intense and will require more work.  Lacey is also starting to do basic "find" excerises.  We hide a toy and she seeks it out.  She does well at it.  Later this month, we will be skipping a day of dog training in order to go to a tracking trial.  We need to learn how to track and the easiest way to learn is to go watch a trial.  There is a trial on the 7th and the 21st.  Since the 7th is the first day of stage 3, we will have to wait until the 21st to go to the trial.  I wish that more of these things took place during the week, when the kids are at school and I have idle time on my hands. 
I am taking a photography class starting on the 15th.  It is supposed to be all about digital SLR cameras.  I am excited for the six weeks of this course, but a little bummed that it only takes place on Monday evenings.  It means that I will have something on Monday, Tuesday and Jay has something on Wednesday. 

Friends
I am still trying to find "my crowd", but I think that I am making progress.  One of the biggest problems is that I am done having children and many friends are just getting ready to have another.  It's two very different stages when your youngest is getting ready to start school full time and their youngest is a tiny baby.  I have managed to make a few friends who are at the same stage as myself, so we'll see how it goes.  I discovered on Saturday that a lady I know scrapbooks!  This is a big deal to me as I haven't found any locals that scrapbook.  I have met ladies in Sydney, but that's a ways away.  Anyway, this lady is the mom of one of Joe's soccer teammates and is also one of the teachers at Sam's preschool.  (Gotta love small towns!)  She is the mom of four boys (though her youngest is 7).  We are planning to scrapbook together soon.