It's more than hard

My children have completed 10 days of school.  In those 10 days of school, I have received the following:
5 discipline reports
3 calls home from the guidance counselor
2 bus reports
1 meeting with the guidance counselor

During the phone call today with the guidance counselor, she mentioned that we'd probably be getting another 2 bus reports as the bus driver had to walk Sam and Tom into school today for fighting with each other on the bus.

I often get asked what it is like to have children that have special needs.  "Hard" is the answer I usually give.  "Hard" doesn't really describe it though.  

I was a fairly well behaved child in school, pretty much the classic overachiever type.  I always did my homework, minded my manners, and played well with others.  Upon occasion, I would get into a little bit of trouble.  In my entire elementary school career, I had two detentions, one for talking during class and one for not minding a teacher's directions during recess.
Before having children, I always imagined that my children would turn out similar to me.  I imagined that their teachers would say the sorts of things that my teachers used to say about me.  I never once imagined what I have to deal with on a daily basis.

Back to school night is always a nightmare for me.  It never fails that when the teacher says "please find your child's desk," I will be sitting in my child's desk, right up next to the teacher.  There's always a mom or two who make jokes about how they hope they aren't the ones who have the naughty kid up front.  Then I have to sheepishly take my seat up front.  There is a big stigma and a negative perception that goes along with being the parent of the child that can't behave during class.  
It's more than just hard to be the parent of the child who stabbed another boy with a pencil on the third day of school.  It's not easy to have to talk with the teacher whom your child screamed at and called a stupid idiot the two days ago in front of the entire class. 

It's very easy to judge the parents of children like mine.  How we must not be loving them enough or maybe we are loving them too much.  How we must not discipline them enough or maybe we are so strict that the only time the kids can have fun is at school.  How we certainly don't seem to care because we haven't medicated our child to make him conform.  When classmates tell their parents about a boy throwing a fit during class and knocking over his desk, those parents tell the kids to stay away from that boy.

Well, that boy is my son.  And he is a beautiful and loving boy, but it's hard for him to show it sometimes. 

Playing catch up

I want to blog. 
I do. 
I just need to make the concerted effort to blog. 
So, I am going to do it.
I will.
I promise.


Here we go. 

 

We bought a house.  It is the perfect house for us, right now.  Almost four and a half acres of room to run, swim, climb, and play.  It is an older house that has had a lot of work done.  There is still work to do and some work to redo.  We love it.  Of course, being an older home, we've already run into some bumps.  The vinyl liner in the pool had multiple rips and tears.  It was holding water when we first got here, but basically because the dirt at the bottom of the pool was blocking all the holes.  We worked and worked to get the filters running.  We were actually making progress and getting the water cleaner.  It was a black swamp when we started and, four weeks later, it was a blue green when we decided to vacuum.  Vacuuming was the kiss of death for the liner as we removed all the dirt, leaves, and debris that was blocking the holes.  

For the next six weeks, our pool looked more like a skate park than a swimming pool. 

While waiting for our pool to be repaired, our cardboard tube septic lines decided to give up.  Two days and two hundred dollars later, Jay and my dad managed to get them all replaced.

Lots of dirt, lots of digging and lots of horrible smells accompanied this project.  

Finally, our liner was installed.  Summer is almost over, but we have swam almost every day since the install, even though the water was only 66 degrees.

The boys have started school now.  

Joe is in fifth grade and has a male teacher this year.  He is very nervous about being behind on school work and behind what his classmates know.  Joe made a friend the first day of school, but decided the next day that he didn't like the boy after all.  So far, he is enjoying the new start.  Moving has given Joe a clean slate, and he is trying his hardest to prevent some of the previous problems.

Tom is in the third grade, but is taller than Joe and older than most kids in his class.  His birthday is just past the cut-off date for the fourth grade.  His maturity is low though.  By day 3 of this first week, we had already gotten one call from the counselor and one note home from the teacher.  He is struggling to ground himself and stay on task.  I can only hope that he will settle in a bit over the next few days and settle down.  

Silly Sam is in first grade this year and got in trouble on the second day of school.  He was playing with his water bottle and going to the toilet too much!  One little talk from me and a reminder how to behave at school, and he has settled.  He's made some friends in his class, but his best buddy is another first grader that rides his bus.  Sam is the only one who has been excited every day to go to school this week.  

The previous owners gave us 17 hens and one rooster when they moved out.  They didn't have a place to keep them so they are ours now.  Eggs are plentiful.  We've lost two chickens since we've moved in.  I think that they were both egg bound, but I really don't know.  We are working on correcting everything so hopefully we won't lose any more.  

I'm looking for work, but so far, I haven't had any luck.  I've applied to five jobs so far, but haven't even gotten a call back on any of them.  I am way over qualified for them all, but they are jobs that work with school schedules.  I will persist, but it is frustrating.  

I miss Australia from time to time.  Not just the friends we made, but Australia itself.  It's hard to believe that we're actually gone from there.  

I keep thinking things like "on our next holiday, we'll go..." only to remember that we can't just pack up the camper and go to Darwin, Canberra, or into the Blue Mountains.  It was such a fantastic opportunity to live there, and it's hard to not be there anymore.  

I know that we will get settled here and that we will make a new life here.  We'll get there, one step at a time.